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Welcome to CYB| Chea-Yee's Blog.

This blog captures the musings and anecdotes of the daily life of a Malaysian who is now living in Melbourne, Australia.

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Beating children? Are you Mad?

I don't believe in beating children. I observed some of the teachers in school, and they have a habit of using a ruler to beat the child's hand. It got me really upset.

I mean, HELLOOO??
What is the objective and point of doing that??
I mean, what can children learn from being beaten??

Children model their caregiver's behaviour. If teachers beat the children, they would learn to do the same if no one points out that it is wrong. This goes the same for children who have dads who beat their mothers, and if no one condones it or point out that it is wrong, the sons will learn to beat the wives, and the daughters will accept it as accepted behaviour.

Actually, this goes for any other behaviour. If parents model good behaviour, the children will model after them as well.

I think the problem here with my colleagues is COMMUNICATION.

How do you communicate to others that beating is wrong?
I personally feel that beating the child's hand or any part of the body is wrong just because they do not meet your expectations.

That is YOUR expectations, not theirs.

If there is, there is always a better way to handle the situation without needing to use a ruler or a cane. The problem is sometimes, many adults and parents do not realise or understand the consequences of what they are doing.

Scenario:

Child beats the other child.

Parent/ Adult gets angry.

Parent/Adult asks child:
Why did you beat so and so??

Child: He/She is naughty. So must beat.

When in actual fact, the child would not be able to explain that s/he did that because you beat them as that is the way you dealt with them as a punishment for their misbehaviour.
So unless you use another way to handle the situation, the children will also follow the same way.

They think: naughty, must beat. Doesn't matter who. If daddy/mummy/teacher/ adult can do, why cant I do the same?

Who's fault then?? Adult or child ??

I never got beaten as a child. Well, maybe a few times. Before the cane came, I already HOWLED. So my parents could never actually beat me. I would lock the room after and refuse to come out.

If my parents beat me out of something which was not my fault, I would ignore them. I did that to my dad. I refused to speak to him for ONE entire week and pretended he wasn't there every time he walked past.....ha ha. Good experience though.

It is the same as a father telling his children that smoking is bad. Yet he smokes. Isn't that giving the child mixed signals?

The Bible says, Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child.

In my interpretation, "Rod" means discipline. Yes, I believe in discipline. I also believe in ground rules.

I give ground rules. If you don't follow the ground rules, you are not keeping to the commitment you made. So you shall lose your priviledges.

If child plucks flowers, do you beat them?

No, Of course not. The adult have to explain to them flowers/leaves/ grass is not to be plucked. Really, how would the child know that it is not right unless the adult takes the time to explain what is right or wrong to them, right?

I explain ground rules to children. I explain to the reasons why they must keep ground rules. Who don't want to follow ground rules will not be allowed to join the group in the activity. If they want to do the activity, all must keep to the ground rules.

i.e, You disturb others, off you go to the "naughty corner". Rule of class, you distract others, you take their things and start fighting, Naughty Corner you go. You lose your priviledge of mixing with the other children until you learn to behave.

Or, if you start screaming, or run to the back of the school when you are told specifically not to when you go to playground, off you go to the office. I don't care if you are a boy or a girl. I don't care if you start crying or howling. I shall drag you to the office and leave you there because you didn't keep the commitment.

Same goes for others. Please keep the ground rules or else your priviledges will be forfeited.

It works well.

1 comment

vincent said...

When I was kid, the only way adults could keep me quiet and good was with a rotan. I was that bad. Without the rotan, any adult would have gotten a heart attack trying to discipline me. With kids like me, COMMUNICATION was not possible.

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