Welcome to CYB| Chea-Yee's Blog.

This blog captures the musings and anecdotes of the daily life of a Malaysian who is now living in Melbourne, Australia.


Can Men & Women become friends?

Perhaps a better title for this entry would be "should married people have friends of the opposite gender?".

This was an issue that only hit home recently. However, as time (and age!) catches up, and as more of my friends start tying the knot, the dynamics, and reality of having friends both male (and female) who were just dating and married changes.

When my friends were just dating, the issue of having a male friends (in close proximity in a closed area) was not so much of an issue. Yet recently, that was just the case.

I used to have rather close-knit male friendships before I headed overseas (to Australia) for studies. However, on my return to my hometown and as time caught on, I find that the dynamics of my (supposed) close friendships changed. It was more evident in my friendships with male friends.

Platonic male friends whom I used to hang out much with, all of sudden became almost "non-existent."

Suddenly the question of "who was that close female friend you were a close friend with really is to you?". Even when we met up, my male friend had to bring another male friend so that "there would not be any miscommunication" between his girlfriend and him.

One wonders, but we have been friends for the longest time! My male friend has known me for even longer. But in reality, that is such the case.

We may be friends for almost five years or more. Yet when one someone walks into their life, that so called "friendship" almost fades into the background and becomes a non-entity.You almost become a non-entity.

Perhaps the issue of "can women and men be friend" is possible in the short term. Yet in the long term, it becomes a question of fidelity.

Would your spouse question the time that you spend with that friend (of the opposite gender) you are spending much time with, though both of you have been friends since childhood days?

How do you really feel about the time your spouse spends with acquaintances (of the opposite gender) they are spending though they have been mates since childhood days?

This is perhaps a serious issue in the church, where counselling is needed.  Church leaders, or leaders of any kind should be really careful in the case where they themselves are married, and the people they are counselling are married or of the opposite gender. As they say, gossip thrive where people are.

Life is that it is complicating.

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