Welcome to CYB| Chea-Yee's Blog.

This blog captures the musings and anecdotes of the daily life of a Malaysian who is now living in Melbourne, Australia.



18:47pm: Some amendments to this entry.

Recently, I have been going back and forth to this book, Choosing God's Best by Dr.Don Raunikar. Apart from the reason that I have to return the book back to YK, the book takes quite a while to digest.

One of the questions posed in the book is, "would I have been a better spouse if I had met my mate 3 years ago? In what ways am I different today than I was 3 years ago?".

About 3 years ago, I had broken up from a relationship with JK (as many of my close ones would know.) Yes, he also happens to glance through this website from time to time.

In those 3 years, I have been and have almost got involved with many different "guys" along the way. Some of which I was quite interested in, but I guess, God in his wisdom, decided that they were not the "right" ones for me.

Indeed, I have resisted getting emotionally involved with the many "guys" I have met along the way. There were so many times that I told myself were I to do so, it would have been only for the wrong reasons. Loneliness for example. Getting older is another. Being mercenary as well.

The intention to meet anyone in Australia was the last thing in my mind. Yet now, even as God is drawing another person into my life, I can feel that He is calling and challenging me to continue placing this desire of mine onto the altar. That He will continue moulding me that I will sacrifice this desire, and yet trusting Him for the mate that He wants to bring into my life.

How would I know if the mate that God has placed in front of me is the right one? Well, simply put...I really do not know.

However, in the past weeks or so, I have been made aware of the many "waiting" messages that just seem to pop out from no-where. Firstly, my father's testimony of his "waiting" for his new car, where God just seems to put miraculous signs for him to get a new car. Then there's YongMay's un-noticeable (if you had noticed it at all) "waiting" entry on her blog. I am not really sure what it all means, but this "waiting" thing seems to be more vivid than usual .....

Perhaps God will bring the "unseen" signs together when the time is right? Haha.

One of the things that Don notes is that, as we begin to get to know the Lord better, and leave our desire (and yet continually praying for this desire) with God, He will bring our chosen mate to us in His own time. This is obviously easier said than done. I can attest to that. It's taken me 3 years...and it may even take longer.

An area that God has moulded me, since my return to KL, is my willingness to slowly develop and have a time of devotion each morning. I feel the need to have it, as well as the fact that it encourages me in my trust in God.

What other things? I guess I am learning to better understand others, as well as an awareness of other cultures, and to be more confident of myself, and be assertive. I am not sure how much I have changed in the past 3 years, but perhaps an acquaitance who has last seen me since 3 years back might be able to tell? *lol*

From the catastrophe last year, to my rash decisions (which was so publicly announced) you can see it so clearly *hanging* from my chest *LoL*, I guess that I am *slowly* changing. Yes, *old habits are hard to die*......sometimes.

One thing most noticeable that God has moulded me is......developing my cooking skills!!! Hahaha.....wanna try my loh mai kai? *LOL*

Another verse that has struck out in the past one week is "To Obey Is Better Than Sacrifice". Now, this verse seems to come in hand-in-hand with the Waiting part...

As the story goes, King Saul (the first appointed king of the nation of Israel) decided to dis-obey God's commandments, and to compensate for his act, decided to sacrifice much of his belongings. But God knew his intentions, and sent the prophet Samuel who told him "To Obey is Better than Sacrifice", and as a result of his dis-obedience, King Saul lost favour with God.

A situation a friend of mine faced not too long ago led me to ponder this question:
On what occasions where it is to Obey is Better than Sacrifice, and then to Wait on God?

That to obey and Trust that God will bring understanding later. And to continually wait upon God's guidance in His own time. It is a command which is simple. Yet, how many of us are actually able to do it? We rationalize that the unbeliever that we get involved with will come to know the Lord. And yet as believers, we pay the sacrifice of the heartbreak in the end because of our dis-obedience. Or we try to compensate for it in other ways.. but as the prophet Samuel says, are we willing to obey, or do we want to give in to that desire of our heart?

How sure can we be that the person we get involved with will come to know the Lord? There is a slight chance that they might, but, having been through it, I think, it's better not to take the risk now. Not so much because I don't have faith that the mate will not get converted, but rather, because I think it is better to obey than to sacrifice...

To end this, I would like to include the lyrics of this song (Still):

Lingkupiku … dengan sayapMu
Naungiku … dalam kuasaMu

Di saat badai bergelora
Ku akan terbang bersamaMu
Bapa Kau raja atas smesta
Ku tenang sbab Kau Allahku..


Anonymous said...

waiting can take a while. maybe months, maybe years and hopefully not a decade.

be patient and i'm sure the longer you wait: the more you see and learn will make you a more mature person when the time comes for a relationship.

what u learn will not make the relationship any better but will have u ready.

- JK

cheayee said...

I surely hope so. I surely hope so....Nice of you to drop by. Didn't think u'd drop by so soon...*Lol*

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