Welcome to CYB| Chea-Yee's Blog.

This blog captures the musings and anecdotes of the daily life of a Malaysian who is now living in Melbourne, Australia.


Finding one's identity in Christ.

I was reading other people's blogs when this particular statement in IreneQ's entry struck me.

"Find one's identity and security in Christ".

Ok, it's not the first time that I have read it, and it probably won't be the last. But it did remind me of some of the things that I have done in the past half year and what has happened to me. As she noted, many women find their identity in being in a relationship with a man. I can identify with that as I myself have seen that happening with a lot of my female friends (they cry when the relationship breaks down, and beg the guy to get back together with them, and all kinds of funny tactics.)

The other thing is that I know of women who make a show of having so many admirers wrapped under their finger, and seem to be at a loss thinking that there is something wrong if there aren't any admirers. Yes, getting a sense of satisfaction out of being able to manipulate men.

Well, if I were to deny that I had never ever done that, I would be a complete liar. But for me, I guess it really isn't so much about finding my identity in having a relationship with a man. It probably was a loss of pride & ego. Which probably amounts to the same thing. Heh.

However, I have changed from the fact that I no longer find it something to be proud of in having so many admirers. Not to mention that I do not even encourage it any longer.
But the irony of human nature is that they always covet something that other people have, and that is when the problem begins. People don't want someone whom no one else seems to be interested in. The human way of thinking that if someone doesn't have admirers, there must be something wrong with her.

With conversations that go like this...

Oh, she's so pretty, how come no one is going after her? She probably has some mental problems *blah blah blah* or some kind of other problems...

But can't they also see that the person in mind is not encouraging it and may not want to encourage it? Now I just find it simply wrong to encourage or lead someone on (but of course, a lot of these men do not seem to see that and keep pestering!).

The thing is, if one is in a relationship, would it not make the other party insecure if they know that you have so many admirers? There in also lies the issue of *TRUST* and *LOYALTY*....

But nonetheless, that didn't stop me from complaining to my administrator about the men in my life (or lack thereof) about it. To which, she started to recount the number of men that she had seen in my life.

From this Indian fella that had sent this huge bouquet of roses to the office,
to the chinese one she met who had bought me this entire chocolate cheese cake from Secret Recipe and had given me a gold bracelet for Christmas and even bought me breakfast every day....
and even one of the uncles of the children who had sent me a card wanting to befriend me. *sigh*.

Admin: So, how many men did u sleep with? *who was taking a break and resting her head on the table*
Me: 10.

Admin: What??!!! *raises her head and stares at me!*

Me: Well, you asked! So I just picked a random number and gave it to you. *gives her a look*

Admin: Oh. Cheh!

Me: Right, like I was going to tell you even if I had done that lar??!!

Sometimes, as a Christian, I have to be reminded, even subtly by non-Christians (without their knowing it though!) to what extent of the faith I have that I am living. I would not say that basing my trust and identity in Christ is something that is easy for me. In fact it is a real struggle for me, and especially this past one year.

Then again, if we could easily base our trust and identity in Him, wouldn't that make life a bit too easy, right?

1 comment

cynical-idealist said...

I find it hard too, to try and base my identity in Christ. More often than not what I do rather than Him defines me. It's also frustrating to see relationships that my friends have become their life center, and they lose all sight of Christ in the midst of emotions.

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