Welcome to CYB| Chea-Yee's Blog.

This blog captures the musings and anecdotes of the daily life of a Malaysian who is now living in Melbourne, Australia.


Marriage covenant.

Just came back from Souled Out with the Rugged CG members. We were there to celebrate Katreen (David's sis) 20th birthday. She's not old enough to drink yet either! Quite a lot of people there.
Alice, Sue Wong (from DNA), Li Ann, David, Katreen, Bell, Darrell, Bryant, Amos, Johannes, and yes, KMT!
Yup, I finally brought him along to check out the Ruggeds. He seemed to get along quite well with the group.

Yin Yin came, but she left about 6. Alex & Lynette left after our bible study. The former asked if I could still dance salsa, and I said I could still do the counting, but I am out of practice!

Anyway, the topic for today's study session was on marriage. Indeed, there are lots of references in the bible in regard to the sanctity of the covenant of marriage. In God's eyes, marriage is for life. He hates divorce. and equally, I would say that even humans once married, do not want to get divorced unless under trying circumstances. Look at it this way, even couples who have dated, find separation a difficult and trying process, full of tears and sadness. Let's not talk about marriage, and worst, if the marriage has resulted in birth of children.

The thing about the Christian faith is about trusting God to bring the right person to you. In the fullness of His time, as you wait upon Him for his leading, and are obedient to his leading and commands, He will bring the right one to you.

I am at the age where all my friends are each beginning to get married one by one, although there is no rush yet. (As for those who were already married at the age of 20 or earlier due to "unforseen circumstances", I do not consider them as mature enough or ready enough, because it was not done with much thought or preparation).
As it is, I would be reaching another age milestone in a couple of years time, and yes, I must admit, I do have the desire to get married too as well. For women it is always the issue of age, whereas not so much with the men. The thing is, although a person may say or think that they are ready to get married, unfortunately, at most times, it does not really mean that either emotionally or their circumstances actually mean that they ARE ready for marriage.

Marriage is where two person's lives are joined together, and with that too, their families and their history as well. A successful marriage is where both people submit to each other, putting away selfishness and self centeredness and for the better good, peace & love of the family. It is an interactive thing, and each marriage is unique and different from every other couple's marriage. A marriage is a lifetime commitment (although secular school of thoughts may think the easy way out is through divorce, but I shall defer that perspective in this discussion of mine, because I cannot accept it anyway how).

And after having an unsuccessful dalliance not too long ago, I think it is about time I finally sit down to take stock of what the future lies before me. Taking into account the differences of both the personalities of both men & women, I realise that I myself have to change before I think I could go or maintain a new relationship. I do not think it is right nor accurate when a man or woman says that the other party has to accept them the way they are, or that is the way they themselves are so they can't change.

As Christ says, what is impossible for humans, is possible when God comes into the picture.

As it is, I think that before I can enter a new relationship, I would like and I so desire that God change me, so that when the right person comes, I would be ready or in the process, that is.
For me, submitting to authority, and to a husband, was, if you had asked me a couple of months back, was something that sounded distasteful for me, knowing the kind of person that I am.
But now I realise, that there is a reason for that in a marriage.
Husbands, meanwhile, are called to look after a wife, like how he loves himself, and as how Christ loved the Church. (well, that is something that I can look forward to!)

The most surprising thing is, the test came today as I was out with a guyfriend of mine at a restaurant recently.
It is normal of me that when a guy does not go out and does what it is he is supposed to do, I would instead, take charge and go do it instead. Instead, however, I controlled myself from doing nothing & told myself to not do anything but just sit down there and wait.

It was a temptation on my part to go and do it myself, but I told myself it has to start somewhere. If I always did everything for myself, then how in the world is the man going to show his "manliness" or to "prove his worth" that is? In the long run, the man would resent me, because I never ever gave him the chance or the opportunity to do what it is he is supposed to be like the "knight in the shining armour", and may instead, find someone else who may allow him to do that instead.
Yes, I want the man in my life to be not only the spiritual leader, but also the authority in the house, who can also maintain order in the family.

Of course, I would like the man in my life to accept me for my quirkiness and certain things about the way I am. Like one of the members in the CG, she is a very talkative person, but the ex-beau could not like the fact that she was very chatty, and instead opted for someone else who was much more homely, although they had dated for quite many number of years. In fact the only difference between the ex-beau's (who is now married) wife, is that the wife looks almost like my friend from the back!

If the man in my life can't accept me for my quirkiness, and wants me to subdue the lively, crazy part of myself, (which I mostly am most of the time!), then I think the chances of the relationship surviving would be really low indeed, because that is denying myself of the person that I really am. I would be mostly unhappy if I am not crazy!!

1 comment

Anonymous said...

Small world: Found out that Alex is my classmate from secondary school.

U Joe

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